Oranges

"I have a bottle of beer that thinks it is a loaf of bread, and a lettuce that thinks it is a lettuce."
"It must be very clever then."
"it's not very clever to believe one is a lettuce"
"But it is A lettuce."
"Of course it is. But it's dreadful enough being a lettuce, I can't imagine why one would also wish to think it was a lettuce. What did you bring me?"